Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Shadow of Her Future Self

The Shadow of Her Future Self

Once again she wondered why she felt compelled
to put her thoughts down...
Still her compulsion to write
was too strong to ignore
so she wrote
enjoying the activity
finding it to be therapeutic and satisfying
It kept her sane when everything around her
could sometimes seem quite unbalanced...

She was having trouble lately
coping with her inner woman
who was begging to be acknowledged,
yearning to be set free, appreciated and valued...
Her body ached to be touched and admired
and as she wandered through her late 40's
she feared that she would be spending her future alone
the older she grew the less chance she felt
she had of finding love and companionship...

Soon her ageing body
would hold little appeal to the opposite gender
and she thought that she would never have a partner again
It had been years since she had sex
and that had been a one night stand
that held little passion
and did nothing to make her feel desirable...
She missed being adored
longed to lose herself in the sweet sweaty ecstasy of lovemaking
Her mind, body, and soul hungered for release
She thought perhaps this was her karma
for those younger years
when she had been so shamelessly promiscuous....
But it was seventeen years now
since her one true love had passed away
and in that time she'd had sex less than half a dozen times
she though if karma had a lesson to teach her
then she had learnt it by now...

The face in the mirror looked older than she felt
and her inner woman seemed wiser and infinitely more patient
then she thought herself to be....
So another winter drifted by
with it's cold mornings by the sunny window
as she gained a quiet acceptance of who she was
looking forward to the future and all it promised
The days, months, years passed
as they have mind to do
and she found herself content with the quiet life she had created
Although there were times when her day-to-day existence
became a struggle
she faced life with a philosophical perspective
that helped her to be optimistic about the future
patiently enduring of the present
and quietly accepting of the past...
She was fascinated by the evolution of her inner woman
proud of her unseen strengths
and now when she looked in the mirror it
was not a stranger that she saw
it was the shadow of her future self;

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