The Shadow of Her Future Self

The Shadow of Her Future Self

Once again she wondered why she felt compelled

to put her thoughts down...

Still her compulsion to write

was too strong to ignore

so she wrote

enjoying the activity

finding it to be therapeutic and satisfying

It kept her sane when everything around her

could sometimes seem quite unbalanced...

She was having trouble lately

coping with her inner woman

who was begging to be acknowledged,

yearning to be set free, appreciated and valued...

Her body ached to be touched and admired

and as she wandered through her late 40's

she feared that she would be spending her future alone

the older she grew the less chance she felt

she had of finding love and companionship...

Soon her ageing body

would hold little appeal to the opposite gender

and she thought that she would never have a partner again

It had been years since she had sex

and that had been a one night stand

that held little passion

and did nothing to make her feel desirable...

She missed being adored

longed to lose herself in the sweet sweaty ecstasy of lovemaking

Her mind, body, and soul hungered for release

She thought perhaps this was her karma

for those younger years

when she had been so shamelessly promiscuous....

But it was seventeen years now

since her one true love had passed away

and in that time she'd had sex less than half a dozen times

she though if karma had a lesson to teach her

then she had learnt it by now...

The face in the mirror looked older than she felt

and her inner woman seemed wiser and infinitely more patient

then she thought herself to be....

So another winter drifted by

with it's cold mornings by the sunny window

as she gained a quiet acceptance of who she was

looking forward to the future and all it promised

The days, months, years passed

as they have mind to do

and she found herself content with the quiet life she had created

Although there were times when her day-to-day existence

became a struggle

she faced life with a philosophical perspective

that helped her to be optimistic about the future

patiently enduring of the present

and quietly accepting of the past...

She was fascinated by the evolution of her inner woman

proud of her unseen strengths

and now when she looked in the mirror it

was not a stranger that she saw

it was the shadow of her future self;

sharonlee©