Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Moment's Insight

“And looking back I realise
A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A Moment's Insight

there have been moments in my life
moments of sudden understanding
life-changing revelations
of inner thought
where mind body & soul
were so aligned
in such perfect synergy
with the elements
water… air… fire…mind… spirit
in perfect balanced harmony
within that moment
that yes
a moment's insight was worth a life's experience…

imagine this
a much younger me
a child in fact, not yet in high school;
a desert at sunrise
when cinnabar rays first kiss the earth
a silence so profound
I heard the desert breathe.
I knew then that something had happened
to an inner me I did know I had
I wasn’t sure what had happened
but the earth spoke to me that morning
that much I knew without doubt;
 I know now
that my connection to my earth
was profoundly deeper than I could understand at the time…

sun setting in the surging waters
of the Great Australian Bight
16-17 years old
walking a deserted highway
deserted for 100’s of miles…
I heard the earth & ocean communicating
in powerful vibrations beneath my feet
they spoke of centuries old echoes…
who are you, they asked me- earth & ocean
none of your kind have ever stood this very spot..

I am just a girl, I told them…
 just a girl who wants to know how to live …

live it well…. they told me-
- I swear I heard them chuckle
live it well…

a road far from home when I had no home
alone in a dark dark world
the sky a never-ending expanse of unending midnight
 stars danced to the tune of moon-tossed breezes…
faraway lights grew closer and closer
the wind whispered
in my ear
hide little one…
I did;
hugging the shadows of a big old tree
resting my head on bared roots
the wind hugged me close
as the car sped past…
be strong, the wind echoed
be strong…

and yet another silent highway
darkness envelops the car
twin points of light spear the night
showing the empty road -
- path of a new destination….
a work-roughened hand covers mine
this is the point of no return, he said
I can take still take you back there…there is still time
I looked at him
the dashboard lights revealing eyes
that feared my answer
soft glow illumining my young daughters
sleeping peacefully in the back…
I have nothing to go back for, I said
everything in the world I love is here…
a brave new world awaits…

 scuffed linoleum
winter sunlight streams
in golden bands across a scratched floor…
I stare so hard I lose all sense of time
all sense of existence…
Clear! I heard the medic yell
for the 4th time… I flinched
and knew
I would never see him again…
goodbyes are never easy…but are a part of life…

a mountaintop in the south
mist clung to tree trunks and curled fingers
along ankle-deep creeks…
water as revitalizing and pristine
as angels tears…
bellbirds called with dulcet clarity…
as beautiful as it was
as untouched & perfect as it was –
even though my heart told me this was a nice man to be with
- I knew I did not belong; not there…

a cliff overlooking the ocean
green valley’s swept down to white sand
a milestone in passing
6 years alone…
its time to let go, the ocean thundered, Time!
not yet, I whispered
but I thought of him that day without pain;
for the first time the memories did not hurt.
time does heal, I thought, but who knew it would take this long?


a verdant garden
surrounded by trees…
flowers greeted the day…
sun splashed hues revitalized & soothed
man-children a discordant background chorus…
that never ceased;
they don’t need me anymore, I thought
it’s time to move on…
time to find me…


mountains stood sentinel
in a semi-circle around me
hugging the sandy shores of the bay
clouds scudded across a blue sky
image of a Spring day…
my thoughts tumbled chaotically
but slowly… began to untangle…
such clarity enveloped me
I felt dizzy
breathless…. free…
a clarity of emotion washed over me;
I can love… share… live… laugh…
and am strong enough to let go
living life well…
the best way that I know…

with an open heart & no preconditions… no expectations;


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